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"Perhaps this film has a chance to show all those ignorant people parading his image around who Ernesto Guevara actually was, and what he actually did. That would be nice."

Itzhak Matthai sees red in CHE: Part One

"Ideally we would like him to replace The Flash, cos let's be honest, The Flash is just shit, and no-one likes him..."

Usain Bolt becomes a superhero in Satire>>

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"That's the point, we want a Flash Gordon, someone who adds a bit of oomph to political proceedings. Insult the Welsh, shag the Deputy PM, anything, but Porridge Brown just doesn't cut it."

Anouka Dhadda has a rant in Politics>>

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"Hang on. Just one moment. Did these scientists spend so long underground that they forgot all about that minor CLIMATE CHANGE problem?"

Aaron Towlson survives and lives to tell the tale in Science>>

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"From the mock trailers of choice films starring the three main protagonists at the outset, right up to the chaotic finale at the end, the gags and parodies just keep coming think and fast, like a shower of bullets (excuse the pun)."

Itzhak Matthai gets some Tropic Thunder in Film>>

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"While it is true that many great artistic works have been shaped by commerce, Hirst walks a fine line between being a commercial artist and being a ‘sell-out’."

Caroline Camp dissects Hirst in Arts & Culture>>

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"Will somebody please explain to me why that shirt-wearing, cocksure lad wielding his pint like some kind of broadsword in the middle of the bar already has approximately 400 devout followers, after approximately twelve minutes of introductory drinks?"

Alex Lee makes some friends in Music>>

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Machu Picchu different angle

"It was evident that a delicate balance exists between the necessity for tourism and the need to protect the natural and historical sites it relies upon."

Victor Brugman follows the Inca trail in Travel>>

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“Frankly, freshers’ will not be the best week of your life unless you proceed to have a crap life”

Frances Perraudin can't remember in Lifestyle>>

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"We used to be optimistic. Haughtily expectant and perpetually dissatisfied, but insuppressibly sanguine: a nation of boisterous, red-faced hope."

Ed Carter looks ahead in Sport>>

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Fancy writing for us - got any ideas? Email: ucllse@sanctuarynewspaper.co.uk

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