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CANINE DESCENDANTS TO RECEIVE RECOGNITION FOR WAR EFFORTS

Ed Foster

Euphoria engulfed the dogs of Britain today as it was announced, after a gruelling and irksome fight, that the British government is set to finally give in to the demands of the infamous ‘deserving dogs’ campaign. Fronted by Tyler, a British Bulldog from East Anglia, ‘The Churchills’- a band of dogs whose ancestors helped the war effort during the Blitz on London have vehemently staked their claim for an equal share of the praise apportioned to humans. The campaign has included a two mile walk to London and regular “shit-ins”, where protesting muts refused to leave their dwelling abodes when the time came to void their bowels, prompting angry responses from dog owners.

 Countless documents from the 1940s illustrate the central role the dogs of London played in maintaining the morale of Londoners during the ferocious German attacks – a black Labrador called Dave is said to have entertained children in a Hackney air raid shelter for hours by performing derisory impressions of Joseph Goebells, German minister for propaganda, in a Nazi costume. ‘He just had the accent and mannerisms down to a tee’ recalls a survivor, ‘the way he scattered dirt all over their inhumane policies whilst maintaining a believable and humorous façade was incredible, oscar worthy in fact.’ As a direct result of Dave’s antics, the children of Hackney survived a trying 12 hour blitz with no food or water; their spirits remained remarkably untouched. Tragically, Dave was killed by a rogue chocolate bar in his bowl, possibly planted by Nazi spies, or a jealous cat, two weeks later.

Despite the multiple heart warming tales of canine bravery during the war, the government has refused to recognise the service of these brave pooches until now. With medals and a royal presentation ceremony on the cards though, it looks like Britain’s dogs have finally been barking up the right tree.