By Maddy Kershaw

The government have released additional guidelines to encourage the public to practise the correct precautions when dealing with pests to prevent the spread of disease.
Further to their Catch It, Bin It, Kill It campaign, they have recently introduced the similarly-entitled Catch It, Kill It, Bin It.
The campaign is designed to remove the pests which pose a risk to public health.
A spokesperson for the Department of Health spoke to The Sanctuary: “Stress is a dangerous threat to health. Anxiety and depression are the most common mental health problems in Britain, and the majority of cases are caused by stress. The Catch It, Kill It, Bin It drive is designed for the relief of the stress triggered by pests.”
Examples of pests provided by the government are next door’s irritating yappy dog, people who walk slowly on pavements, and screaming children.
The advice is to catch the pest by luring it in with some form of bait – in the examples stated above, the suitable bait might be a bone, offer of a piggyback, or anything laced with E numbers.
The next step requires a suitable method of killing. The government urges humane practices, so a swift Vulcan death grip or a hastily-administered lethal dose of morphine is recommended.
Finally, the public is advised to dispose of the pest hygienically. The most appropriate receptacle is a Leeds City Council bin or other refuse container. The government urges that the public adhere to Council regulations regarding bins, ensuring that the lid of the bin is fully on once the pest has been placed inside.
Make sure you wash your hands thoroughly after handling pests and refuse containers.