FIFA announces French FA to be punished by German reoccupation

After days of silence, FIFA have finally taken action regarding France’s controversial winner against Ireland in their World Cup Qualifier Play-off. Sepp Blatter has confirmed that action is being taken against Fédération Française de Footbal (FFF), with the announcement that the Deutscher Fußball-Bund (DFB) will occupy the headquarters in Paris for the foreseeable future [more...]

Church of England Initiation Inhumane - Williams

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, has this week spoken out against the practice of priestly inductions into life at the C of E. Raucous initiations have long been a renowned bi product of service to the institution, with elders subjecting ‘newbies’ to several nights of outrageous and unbridled tasks, regularly traumatising the new priests, who are known as ‘bitches’ until they complete their challenges [more...]

"Nick Clegg is Christ!" claim confused Lib Dems

Controversy erupted in Sheffield last week when the University’s Liberal Democrat Society published a poster likening Sheffield City Council leader Paul Scriven to such figureheads as Gandhi, Einstein and Jesus Christ. Scriven, a Lib Dem councillor, vehemently denied the claims stating "No, I'm not that much like Jesus”[more...]

Tobacconist Plans

MPs recently approved a bill to outlaw cigarette vending machines across the UK, bringing regulations into line with last year’s banning of the open display of cigarettes in shops. Future plans include the banning of such phrases as ‘I could really use a cig’, ‘have you got a light?’, and even ‘I’m just going outside for a couple of minutes’ [more...]

Full-colour, 368mm x 300mm satirical newspaper seeks witty student minds for no-strings journalism, maybe more.  Web wizards, satirists, photographers, war correspondents all satisfied or cost of email refunded... CLICK HERE